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David Barker Short shorts and tall tales that document the terror of 21st century North American suburbia. Login to Add this to your Playlist Format : Arts PodcastDirectory.com's listings of the David Barker Podcasts
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Meat Updated: 2009-07-29 15:15:00 Description: There’s a street party in the neighbourhood and Squiggy’s in charge of the barbeque because he scored a gross of ground chuck. But Lenny, his next door neighbour and best friend, can’t make it for the party. Too bad, because this y...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Federal Communications Commission Updated: 2009-05-06 19:30:00 Description: To celebrate the recent US Supreme Court Decision upholding the “fleeting expletive” rule (allowing the FCC to fine broadcasters for even a single instance of a word like fuck, shit, cunt, cocksucker, asshole, motherfucker, dickweed, shit...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Marking Boundaries Updated: 2009-04-30 18:42:00 Description: Good nannies are hard to come by, but it’s important to give them some space of their own, as one dog-walking suburbanite learns the hard way.File Download (21:52 min / 10 MB)...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Zombie & GriefBot Inc. Updated: 2009-03-23 19:36:00 Description: This podcast features two stories: the first concerns a mental health patient who starts to worry when the patient in the next room suddenly disappears and housekeeping whisks away some bloodied sheets; the second speculates about what might happen ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Lessons from an Aphasic Priest Updated: 2009-01-19 20:52:00 Description: What kind of a conversation do you get when you force a paranoid schizophrenic to talk to an aphasic? Does it make any sense at all? This is the story of a psychotic – but harmless – man who has been convicted of being a nuisance and i...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Improvisation on an Earlobe Updated: 2008-12-31 22:41:00 Description: Listen to three poems. The first is titled “Improvisation on an Earlobe” and the text appears on the corresponding post at lifeinthemargins.com. The other two poems first appeared as the November and December 2008 poems for my poem-a-mo...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Seventy-Two Updated: 2008-12-16 20:55:00 Description: Mohammed and Youssef are brothers who blew themselves up and have collected their reward– eternity with seventy-two virgins– only it’s not quite as idyllic as they had hoped. What’s more, they aren’t alone. One of thei...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Beautiful Losers Updated: 2008-12-24 04:11:00 Description: As the title suggests, this installment of Life In The Margins concerns an encounter with Leonard Cohen. The story is told by a neurotic husband who is worried that one day Leonard Cohen will seduce his wife. He arrives home from work one day to fi...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Give Peace a Chance Updated: 2008-11-11 00:39:00 Description: It was the best of busts; it was the worst of busts, the day I took down Tony Sarducci. There was once a time when we had such hopes for the man. It was nearly ten years ago now that he made the announcement. “I'm goin' clean,” he said....more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Couch Surfing and The Desiccator Updated: 2008-11-25 19:40:00 Description: This episode features two short shorts. The first is Couch Surfing, about a guy who stays home from work to lie on his favourite sofa and click his remote between the Maury Show and Jerry Springer. But his Karma is off, given that he stole the sofa...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Public Works Updated: 2008-10-25 02:07:00 Description: Why is the grass always greener … ? Why do we always feel compelled to keep up with the Joneses? And who the hell are the Joneses that we’d feel such a compulsion in the first place? Of course, when you dig a little deeper, you find th...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Yeskia 9mm Updated: 2008-11-04 04:36:00 Description: Think dufferent! That’s the motto of Yeskia, the Swedish cell phone manufacturing giant. (It could’ve been “Think different!” but then they’d be just like everybody else.) To break into the American market with their ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Jack the Giant Killer Updated: 2008-10-14 20:51:00 Description: Doctor Horvath motioned for Jack to take a seat by the round, low coffee table while he settled himself in a swiveling chair in front of the bare desk, and then he turned to face Jack while resting his right elbow on the desk. He tore a marked page ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Everlasting Gobstoppers Updated: 2008-10-14 20:53:00 Description: Willy Wonka loves the Oompa-Loompas and they love him back. You see, they're funny looking: they're short and have orange skin, with rotten teeth and bad breath, and they sing the damnedest song. The first time he ever saw them, Willy's heart brim...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The 7th Commandment Updated: 2007-11-13 03:16:00 Description: sometimes we desire what we cannot have but unable to extinguish the desire we fan ourselves into a roaring flame and so we rage and we flare but consume nothing from this god utters forth the usual useless shit then obedience comes not from lo...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD columbines Updated: 2008-01-10 03:19:00 Description: columbines betray last year's scattering of seed by straying from the well-kept bed and springing unruly from the lawn i want to tear them out and bring order to my jealous yard maybe I should collect crystals and arrange them neatly on a shelf but...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Shitting Whitman Updated: 2008-02-02 03:21:00 Description: My standard poodle ate Walt Whitman (Leaves of Grass in ropey coils on the lawn) I stoop and wrap my fingers around warm Song-Of-My-Self turds. She winces at the stanza that she squeezes from her anus. Do I constipate myself? Very well then I constip...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Do Not Speak Updated: 2008-02-03 03:28:00 Description: Do not speak I cannot listen Do not beckon I cannot watch Do not summon I cannot answer Do not rail I cannot wince I want only to curl myself on the floor and feel my ribs pressed to the tiles. I wish I had their hardness. I wish I were ceramic. ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The Pike Updated: 2008-02-03 03:30:00 Description: The thing about a pike that makes it doubly cruel is the way its shaft can sway when it's blown by ridicule. ... (listen to the whole poem) The Pike :: File Download (1:08 min / 1 MB)...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Age of Radicals Updated: 2008-02-06 03:32:00 Description: When I was a teen it was inconceivable that I might find radical tucked in the folds of an old man's face. Now in my forties (though with a boy's libido) I see in the mirror how the first lines crack my youthful veneer. From mid-day the dawn light lo...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The colour-dappled lie Updated: 2008-02-07 03:34:00 Description: Do you wonder what I do now I'm gone away from you? Do you imagine how I live with the freedom that you give? Do you stand alone and gaze at the brightly whorled haze from my spackled palette knife that paints a lustrous life? Or do you look with cle...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The Green Pill Updated: 2008-02-12 03:36:00 Description: Ever have to pee when you’re riding the subway? What happens if the train gets stuck in a tunnel when you’re sitting desperately holding it in? This is one person’s account of a bladder emergency. The Green Pill :: ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Unmoved Updated: 2008-02-26 03:40:00 Description: The ceiling fan above doesn't turn. It waits on a switch that never trips. The snow outside sits cold and white. It waits on a sun that never shines. The world is a head with empty sockets spinning itself into nothing and nothing stirs me as I lie on...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The Book Updated: 2008-02-26 03:42:00 Description: Environmentalism is a huge issue – perhaps THE issue. Certainly it’s a huge issue from the environment’s point of view. We should be careful; the environment might be plotting its revenge. The Book :: File Downl...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The Beetles Updated: 2008-03-12 02:44:00 Description: Nowadays we live in a global economy, which means we also share one another’s insects. Bugs from one part of the world sometimes aren’t suited to other parts of the world. This is a story about how things go wrong with the Asian Long-Ho...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD shock and awe Updated: 2008-03-19 02:47:00 Description: we the implicated we the intricated we the strand and bolt of fabric woven tight like mother's love and screaming child ... (listen to the whole poem) shock and awe :: File Download (1:20 min / 1 MB)...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD The Obituary Updated: 2008-03-26 02:49:00 Description: What if you woke up one day and discovered that your obituary had been published in the newspaper? How would you deal with it? What about the person who was responsible for the mistake? How would he deal with it? This is a story about saving face...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD My Name is URL Updated: 2008-04-12 02:52:00 Description: People who come late in life to the internet should proceed with caution. Terrible things can happen. My Name is URL :: File Download (8:46 min / 4 MB)...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Alien Rednecks Updated: 2008-04-26 02:54:00 Description: Here’s the story behind unexplained crop circles – as told by a redneck from a farm in the American midwest. Alien Rednecks :: File Download (19:20 min / 9 MB)...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Metro Police, PCU Updated: 2008-05-16 02:57:00 Description: Can political correctness go too far? Or are some people just such assholes that extraordinary measures are justified? Read a tale where special measures are used to deal with just such an asshole. Metro Police, PCU :: File Downl...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD A Model Abuser Updated: 2008-05-20 03:00:00 Description: Ever run into someone who has difficulty distinguishing fact from fiction? Like the guy who believes everything an advertiser says about a product. “It’s the real thing. For a fresh clean scent. There’s no life like it.” ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Letter from Nigeria Updated: 2008-06-25 03:02:00 Description: Ever get one of those scam letters or emails from Nigeria? Who hasn’t? They’re the ones that ask for money to help administer the estate of some dead general who has millions locked up in a Swiss bank account. But what if … ? He...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD John Henry Updated: 2008-06-28 02:03:00 Description: John Henry is a legend that pits humanity against the dehumanizing forces of technology – in this case the dehumanizing forces of a fancy schmancy lawn mower. Rick and John square off in a suburban lawn-mowing competition to see whether muscle...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD Sex With Dead People Updated: 2008-07-19 01:57:00 Description: While cleaning a funerary vase from Queen Nefertiti’s tomb, a dweeb of an Egyptologist named Ikky gets some dirt on his collar which ends up on his paleontologist girlfriend’s lips. Interesting things happen between the two of them, but ...more... LISTEN NOW | VIEW CACHE | DOWNLOAD |
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