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Mother’s Day 10” Miniature Rose Bush in Terracotta Pot

Mother’s Day 10” Miniature Rose Bush in Terracotta Pot

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DATE : Mon, 04 May 2009 00:00:04 -0500
Entered in Database : 2009-05-04 05:00:04
length : 860160
Link to the Show / Show Notes

We never promised you a miniature rose bush. Before today.

Unless you live with your Mom - which, whatever, we're not judging - remember to change the "Where Should We Send This?" address when you order.

What can we say about your dear mother—a woman so fat, we swerved to avoid her and ran out of gas? Naw, dog, we’re just playin’. Once a year, it’s important to take a moment and acknowledge the woman who raised you. (AND NOT MORE FREQUENTLY THAN THAT, MOMMA’S BOY.)

Maybe she was no Harriet Nelson or June Cleaver, but then again she was no Medea or Joan Crawford either. Between vodka sours, she did her best with you—and you were no cakewalk in the park, kid. That woman had her hands full with you and your endless shenanigans. And through it all, she cared for you the best way she knew how, protecting you and nurturing you as if you were her own. Which, how do we know? Maybe you were. Your sordid family secrets are no business of ours.

Speaking of“business of ours,” though—you wanna buy a rose bush? Mother’s Day is coming right up, and this California-grown perennial pink rose bush is the perfect way to tell her you would have forgotten about Mother’s Day completely except they mentioned it on Woot. It’s little now. But if she takes good care of it, maybe she can move it out of its tasteful li’l’ terra cotta pot and into the flower garden, where it will grow into a nice big successful rose bush, and go to school and become a doctor or a lawyer, and get married to a nice girl and start a family, instead of wasting its life on the Internet every day, breaking her poor, weak, old heart.

Each bush will be carefully packaged, delicately handled, loved, honored, respected, and talked to in soothing tones of voice en route to ensure it arrives on your mom’s doorstep in safe, healthy condition and in plenty of time for Mother's Day. But we’ll also provide the supplier’s phone number with each order in case you need it.

Listen, that woman gave up BOTH her girlish figure AND her dreams of becoming a top executive for you, and what did she get out of it? A few crummy finger-paintings and a tax deduction? That’s not a fair trade, pal. Time to show a little appreciation. Remember: Even if sheisso ugly her swine flu mask has PTSD, she’s still yo momma.

Warranty:NuDell, for shipping damages only

Features:

• Shipping FedEx Overnight, will arrive before Mothers Day
• Guaranteed for at least 7 days
• Pink Roses
• Grown in California
• Indoor perennial miniature rose bush
• Can be transplanted outside in a garden
• Italian pot is 6" across and 4.5" tall
• Approximately 10” tall with flowers in the pot
• Flowers are secured by heavy packing paper and placed in a secure shipping box, preventing it from being crushed or broken from typical shipping conditions

In the box:

• Mother’s Day 10” Miniature Rose Bush in Terracotta Pot

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